When in high stress or pressure situations people often favour taking instant and impactful action without all of the facts.
This can be anything from misinterpreting what others have said and getting into a disagreement; to flapping when you have said something you didn't mean to on a person's voicemail and hanging up (thus sending it) as opposed to pressing # and rerecording.
In the British Military when coming under contact from the enemy other than basic life saving actions the first step is more or less always the battle estimate.
The Condor Moment.
The battle estimate is 7 questions to be answered by a commander on the ground, designed to take into account the best possible course of action in the situation you are in.
You may not need to worry about being in contact with the enemy, but likely will be put into higher stress positions were you may react quickly, rashly and have to deal with consequences big and small afterwards.
When we think about it another way, in real life or death scenarios nobody is rushing into any decision making, so why would we when lives aren't at stake?
We can use a similar process ourselves. if we are in a scenario whereby we feel we are under pressure, ask yourself these questions:
Do I feel may safety is threatened?
This isn't necessarily physical safety, if you have received some feedback that you don't feel is fair this could mean your societal safety for instance. We may feel threatened by something and as our brains primal function is safety we are likely to lash out to protect it.
How urgent/ important is this?
This comes down to how we can magnify things through our filters and things can seem to have a lot greater gravitas than they actually have.
What is my ACTUAL objective, and how can I achieve it?
Why is actual in capitals? It's worth anchoring the point. We may be having a disagreement right now, and that sarcastic comment may feel awesome, but, it likely won't better my cause.
After the initial moment has passed - How much do I need to think about this?
For some it feels good to keep talking about that person that cut you up on the way into work and how it made you feel. The more we talk about it the more we stay in that moment and create those anxious feelings for something that in effect didn't happen. This isn't to say don't tell anyone, but more - Once the moment has passed, how much energy does this need?
This is a basic guide and all questions could be adapted for you. The key thing is, short of life saving actions, we don't need to dive into abrupt actions just because we feel pressure.
Head Berserker - Team ITDG